Just two months back from Afghanistan. I live in a privileged beach community on the West Coast. Given I didn’t have anything to do with combat in Afghanistan and actually enjoyed my time there I should have had an easy transition. At least I would have thought so. My first month or so was vacation time. I thought I would accomplish so much. Not so, to my dismay. Last month I spent back at Corporate America. I returned to most of my duties. Things began slowly, boring, bland. I wondered what the hell I was doing there, in my little cubicle. It’s been a strange transition. I’ve been away before but never for so long, especially never so long without a break.
I heard my wife telling her best friend that I was burned out from working more than six months without a day off. It didn’t feel like the cause though. I am glad she has friends to confess to, to confide in.
I had one once. It’s important to have someone other than a spouse to talk to. So here I am, a bit better now. The turning point seems to have been a dream in which I died. I’ve never died in a dream before. The strange thing is that I was falling and knew it would end badly. Rather than taking control of the dream as I usually have I concentrated on relaxing and letting go. At impact I was suddenly somewhere else. Someone was walking toward a fence with me to see the carnage. A person had landed badly, fatally, from some great distance. When I looked I saw it was my body lying there. I was not feeling bad, just curious. There I stood looking at my shattered form on the concrete. I told my friend about the dream but shortly thereafter they vanished. So, here I am somewhat transformed, somewhat back to normal, but lacking a key person in my life. Cest la vie.
Yesterday I climbed mount San Jacinto. It was my first ascent since I began the foray into Central Asia and the bowels of petroleum management. The last peak was San Gorgonio in Sep 08. I love mountains. They help me maintain balance. They make me feel at home. I suppose I’ve always liked abandoned places. Places forgotten. In High School I used to go to the old LA Zoo, long abandoned. It was like ruins in the middle of a
city. Anyway I finally made it back up a mountain for the first time since staring at those wonderful peaks surrounding the Shamali Plain. Climbing early you manage to miss most other people, at least on the ascent. It was comforting to sit at the summit for a short while in relative privacy. I can’t imagine a better vantage point from which to contemplate the world. Taoists have the right idea.
I heard my wife telling her best friend that I was burned out from working more than six months without a day off. It didn’t feel like the cause though. I am glad she has friends to confess to, to confide in.
I had one once. It’s important to have someone other than a spouse to talk to. So here I am, a bit better now. The turning point seems to have been a dream in which I died. I’ve never died in a dream before. The strange thing is that I was falling and knew it would end badly. Rather than taking control of the dream as I usually have I concentrated on relaxing and letting go. At impact I was suddenly somewhere else. Someone was walking toward a fence with me to see the carnage. A person had landed badly, fatally, from some great distance. When I looked I saw it was my body lying there. I was not feeling bad, just curious. There I stood looking at my shattered form on the concrete. I told my friend about the dream but shortly thereafter they vanished. So, here I am somewhat transformed, somewhat back to normal, but lacking a key person in my life. Cest la vie.Yesterday I climbed mount San Jacinto. It was my first ascent since I began the foray into Central Asia and the bowels of petroleum management. The last peak was San Gorgonio in Sep 08. I love mountains. They help me maintain balance. They make me feel at home. I suppose I’ve always liked abandoned places. Places forgotten. In High School I used to go to the old LA Zoo, long abandoned. It was like ruins in the middle of a
city. Anyway I finally made it back up a mountain for the first time since staring at those wonderful peaks surrounding the Shamali Plain. Climbing early you manage to miss most other people, at least on the ascent. It was comforting to sit at the summit for a short while in relative privacy. I can’t imagine a better vantage point from which to contemplate the world. Taoists have the right idea. 
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