Stasis… When are they going to perfect that for travel!?

The view as we approached Narita was unremarkable. A thick haze and some cloud cover obscured the land. For a while all I could spot were enormous white caps in the Pacific. As we dropped altitude small hillocks and farms came into view. Narita is out in the sticks. Clearing passport control found I was the only gaijin on the flight. Narita looks quite shabby now days. I think the last time I flew through here was in 1986 so that isn’t surprising. There is a mall in this airport as well. At the moment it’s packed. Many people sitting around killing time waiting for flights. Cloth masks are commonly worn in Japan when people are ill. It’s a polite way to avoid spreading germs. Today though, they are more common than ever and by people who appear to be fine. I suspect it is an effort to limit what they breathe in rather than out. I think the unease I feel on this trip is simply anxiety over the unknown. When I go on vacations I may not know what a place will be like but I control my own destiny. Travel for uncle doesn’t work that way.
Funny side note… leading up to 2009 I was getting increasingly queasy when I flew. It was the landings that would get me. Just before touch down the butterflies would hit and a slight feeling of dread. I found it odd because it was new for me to feel that way. Was it too many 3rd world airline flights fishtailing down the runway? I really can’t say. Then my deployment to Afghanistan came along and all that changed. I felt nothing upon landing, not even the butterflies from the temporary weightlessness just before touchdown, nothing. That was beginning to change ever so slightly after I came to realize how much that deployment shut off emotions, especially fear. It’s been a deep dive inside my head to get at those mechanics. Now here I am. The prep time, less than 48 hours was a period of intense focus. Now the trip, the loneliness of not knowing when I’ll see my family again… granted it’s a short deployment but not knowing if it’s for 30, 45 or 60 days still has an impact. 30 days is one round of bills, anything over that gets much more complicated. I recognize between the lack of fear and intense focus I am back in my element. Odd perhaps. I have a civilian job and so much going on at home. Why is it that this is such a welcome breath of air (only slightly irradiated perhaps). The answer to that is to be found in more internal spelunking I suppose… digging back into my own psyche. Sometimes that is the most nerve wracking trip of all.