Sometimes I’m not as strong as I wish. I really didn’t choose this path. As a matter of fact I chose a much shorter stint here in far away land. The original plan Uncle had for me involved 15 months teaching Iraqi’s how to perform Army supply tasks. Hell of a gig for a Naval Officer. This job was shorter. As a side benefit it actually falls in line with my career path, what a concept! But, as I was saying, I don’t always hold up as well as I would like to. I guess the real enemy, for me anyway, is boredom. The song by NIN “Every Day is Exactly the Same” comes to mind.
I’m not fond of depression. I do my best to avoid it, but still, sometimes it’s a bitch to fight off. Here I am 80 days of straight work without a day off. Then again my last real day off, not in uniform, living on a cot or bunk bed in a barracks was about 104 days ago. It begins to grind on you after a while. I need to find something to break the monotony, perhaps another short trip, something. Ah what the hell, only 100 or so days still to go.
My work shouldn’t be boring, at least in theory. I like to say we have the crisis de jour. There is rarely two days in a row without something out of the ordinary re
quiring special attention. But when it’s the crisis de jour, even different sweat-ex’s begin to seem the same. My own personal weakness in this situation is the need for input. I need to be learning or teaching all the time to avoid boredom. Boredom is my kryptonite. Bad stuff to be sure.
Things become more complicated when communication becomes garbled. It’s not easy trying to be a father and husband from far away land. Even with daily calls, it’s still a call. E-mail lacks emotion or becomes misunderstood. Just another complicating factor is this career path.
The weird thing is even though I am writing this in such a public forum I am not looking for sympathy. I am not looking for people to treat me differently when I return to “normal” life. Doing this is cathartic for me to some degree. I guess what I hope for is people to recognize the sacrifice paid by people in this line of work and by their families. To be sure, I am not being shot at or blown up. The danger level for my job is about the same as my daily commute in LA. Even so, being in the military is a sacrifice. I know many more military with broken marriages than civilians. Our families suffer as much as we do, perhaps more so because life goes on in the “normal” world. They don’t look different. Their schedules don’t change much. Outward appearances are largely the same. But, they are without a spouse, a father, a mother. Their life is altered profoundly but not visibly so it’s easy to forget.
This is a hell of a way to earn a retirement. I suppose the key is to support your military in deeds and civil actions rather than platitudes. It’s OK to protest wars. In fact it’s a great idea. If you really want to help military members, vote. Let your congressman know you support veterans programs and programs for military families. The latest high tech fighters aren’t helping us here. Programs for kids with PTSD and permanent headaches from IED explosions are what help. The most important thing you can do though, the real key to it all, is to only support wars you would willingly attend yourself or would send your children to. That should be your guide. I mean that in all seriousness. It requires a dispassionate analysis of your real feelings. It requires you be deeply honest with yourself. I watched the fiasco unfold in Iraq. I saw the large number of people who supported the invasion. I have my doubts that many would have willingly sent off their kids if that were the basis to show support.
I was not convinced we needed to invade Afghanistan. To be sure we needed o take action. To be sure we had a legal right to take action. That said, had we avoided Iraq, Afghanistan would likely be a much better place now. This tour would have
been much different.
So, do me a favor, if you supported the Iraqi fiasco bend over backwards to help returning soldiers harmed in the line of work. Bend over backward to help their families. You owe them that. If you were at any of the war protests or actively lobbied against and voted against the mess you already did a great deal. Dissent helps keep politicians honest, thank you.
I’m not fond of depression. I do my best to avoid it, but still, sometimes it’s a bitch to fight off. Here I am 80 days of straight work without a day off. Then again my last real day off, not in uniform, living on a cot or bunk bed in a barracks was about 104 days ago. It begins to grind on you after a while. I need to find something to break the monotony, perhaps another short trip, something. Ah what the hell, only 100 or so days still to go.
My work shouldn’t be boring, at least in theory. I like to say we have the crisis de jour. There is rarely two days in a row without something out of the ordinary re
quiring special attention. But when it’s the crisis de jour, even different sweat-ex’s begin to seem the same. My own personal weakness in this situation is the need for input. I need to be learning or teaching all the time to avoid boredom. Boredom is my kryptonite. Bad stuff to be sure.Things become more complicated when communication becomes garbled. It’s not easy trying to be a father and husband from far away land. Even with daily calls, it’s still a call. E-mail lacks emotion or becomes misunderstood. Just another complicating factor is this career path.
The weird thing is even though I am writing this in such a public forum I am not looking for sympathy. I am not looking for people to treat me differently when I return to “normal” life. Doing this is cathartic for me to some degree. I guess what I hope for is people to recognize the sacrifice paid by people in this line of work and by their families. To be sure, I am not being shot at or blown up. The danger level for my job is about the same as my daily commute in LA. Even so, being in the military is a sacrifice. I know many more military with broken marriages than civilians. Our families suffer as much as we do, perhaps more so because life goes on in the “normal” world. They don’t look different. Their schedules don’t change much. Outward appearances are largely the same. But, they are without a spouse, a father, a mother. Their life is altered profoundly but not visibly so it’s easy to forget.
This is a hell of a way to earn a retirement. I suppose the key is to support your military in deeds and civil actions rather than platitudes. It’s OK to protest wars. In fact it’s a great idea. If you really want to help military members, vote. Let your congressman know you support veterans programs and programs for military families. The latest high tech fighters aren’t helping us here. Programs for kids with PTSD and permanent headaches from IED explosions are what help. The most important thing you can do though, the real key to it all, is to only support wars you would willingly attend yourself or would send your children to. That should be your guide. I mean that in all seriousness. It requires a dispassionate analysis of your real feelings. It requires you be deeply honest with yourself. I watched the fiasco unfold in Iraq. I saw the large number of people who supported the invasion. I have my doubts that many would have willingly sent off their kids if that were the basis to show support.I was not convinced we needed to invade Afghanistan. To be sure we needed o take action. To be sure we had a legal right to take action. That said, had we avoided Iraq, Afghanistan would likely be a much better place now. This tour would have
been much different.So, do me a favor, if you supported the Iraqi fiasco bend over backwards to help returning soldiers harmed in the line of work. Bend over backward to help their families. You owe them that. If you were at any of the war protests or actively lobbied against and voted against the mess you already did a great deal. Dissent helps keep politicians honest, thank you.
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