The Schizophrenia of This Life

It’s funny writing these journal entries. I like writing about the land I currently live in. At the same time, I’m here doing a job, seven days a week eleven plus hours a day, I work for the war effort. I was not in favor of invading Afghanistan. I thought our aims could be achieved with less effort. But, we did invade. The Afghans were generally happy to be done with the Taliban Regime. They looked on the change with promise. Now, seven and a half years into it their patience is threadbare. I’m here supporting a military effort that after seven and a half years finally getting serious. It’s a crap shoot at this point. If you’ve read many of my entries you’ll know my hopes and prayers are with the Afghan people. I think we still have a chance to make good at this. It’s one reason I’m here. It’s how I can support this effort with a clear conscience. War is a bad thing. It’s not why I joined the Navy so many years ago. I joined because I needed a job! Seriously though I have always believed having a strong military was meant to prevent wars. People who start wars are evil people. People who start “preemptive” wars are evil people and liars.

Well, I see I’ve become a bit sidetracked. As I was saying, I like writing about Afghanistan. At the same time I am compelled to write about my job and my observations of the military effort. There is much promise here. There have also been many mistakes. It’s important that people recognize everything that is going on. Don’t fall for simplistic reports or opinions. This is not a simple place. This is not a simple war. These are not a simple people.

This war needs to end. As I said, wars are evil by their very nature. BUT… we need to end this correctly. The Afghans deserve peace. They deserve the responsibility for their own future. What we need to do is give them is a fair shot at achieving peace. If we can provide some infrastructure improvements, build on successful models like Balkh (a peaceful province by the Afghan’s own hand), and help with economic and educational programs that aren’t overly intrusive to the governance of the country, this may yet end well. I hope it does. No people deserve 30+ years of war!

There I go, sidetracked again. As I write, I find myself pulled between writing about the country, the war, my job pushing jet fuel and the schizophrenia of being separated from my family and town. This is an odd life. To be sure, I am not as isolated now as I was on a ship 23 years ago. I am able to call home as often as I want. The internet allows me to keep in touch with friends and check up on news. I can even keep track of my kid’s homework grades on the school website. But I am still 7,700 miles away. I can’t touch my family. I can’t attend neighborhood meetings. I might as well be in outer space. This is the life 30,000 or so foreign military live in Afghanistan. I’ve no idea how many foreign contractors there are or personnel working for NGO’s. It’s a key point. When the public agree to go to war, this is the life they inflict on their military. I’ve got it easy here. I’m not being shot at. I don’t travel in convoys that hit IED’s. I have a desk job.

A quick rant: Never trust anyone that tells you a war is going to be quick and glorious. Both the Kaiser and Hitler told the Germans that. Rumsfield , Bush & Co. told Americans that. If someone is too egger to start a war, let them lead the charge on the ground and make damn sure they have their children along side them. You’ll find out instantly how serious they are about the glories of conflict.

Well I’m not too sure what I’ll write next… but it will be about Afghans, and war, and pushing jet fuel and missing my family. As one of me best friends pointed out… I’m writing a travelogue for a war.